I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
A bitchslap is in order.
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