Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
