As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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