If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize