I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
