some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize