I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
