he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
