my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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