my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
BRING THE BAGELS
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
