Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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