Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
