Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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