I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize