From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
