when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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