She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
