Kiss
Puke
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
