problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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