hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
