Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
