The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
