I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
