that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
