"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
