I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
