id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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