his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
