Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
