I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
