We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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