He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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