It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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