dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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