I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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