Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
