I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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