I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
