OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Let's get the cat blown out
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
