stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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