hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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