you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
