I want to stick my p in your. b.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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