i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm at about main and main street
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
