We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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