There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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