just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
