there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Randomize