Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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