My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
