Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm at about main and main street
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize