drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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