So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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