bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We smell like vodka and hangover
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
