you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
