you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
