id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
