Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
