ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
In America we eat man semen.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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