I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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