I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
