weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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